Usually, I take awhile before I share any meditations with clients. That is because most meditation doesn’t work unless you dedicate your life to spiritual practices. You can sit for hours trying to breathe calmly and the next moment fly off on someone who cuts you off in traffic. You can visualise being successful and then procrastinate for days. It doesn’t work when life gets stressful.
How to make it work? You probably want to ask now.
The key lies in the intent with which you meditate.
If you meditate to be in a blissful state, you are using it as an avoidance strategy. If you meditate to cultivate acceptance of what is, you are actually healing. To be happy in the here and now is to accept the here and now instead of running away from it, seeking for greener pastures in the physical or spiritual world. And accepting the here and now doesn’t mean not leaving room for improving things, it includes accepting all the infinite possibilities within your reach and the fact that you are not on your life mission alone – there are plenty of supporters there to guide you if you accept the help, but more on that another time.
I myself am guilty of using meditation as a coping strategy instead of a way to come back home to myself. For years I visualised my happy place etc but this year I finally stopped running and sat with my feelings and things as they are, learning calm acceptance. It was a painful, long process in the start, as long-suppressed emotions slowly started to unravel, one layer after another. Emotions rarely are unidimensional or simple, one is masking another and usually, the layers become as blended as a painting where one must really zone in to go deeper and deeper until the core of the base colour of the emotions is revealed. This is very helpful, particularly when one is not great at expressing their emotions or struggles to know what they are feeling.
For example, anger in my experience is rarely a pure emotion. Usually it masks a deep sadness about the state of things or signals resentment born from suppressing ones boundaries. It is there to protect us, but from what? Meditating on it and going down the spiral to the core helps to find out.
As I did this process on a daily basis for a few months (yes sorry to break it to you but it takes time to allow a lifetime of traumas or withheld emotions to heal), I learned to distinguish the core emotions much faster and the sadness and anger now evaporate really quickly.
My goal here is to teach you to meditate to heal without running away from yourself and the process of healing:
Meditating to feel better
- Focused on feeling better
- Goal-oriented and impatient approach, wanting to escape problems
- Temporary results due to biochemical changes (slowing of the heart rate etc)
- Avoidance tactic (let me imagine a blissful relaxing place so I can avoid all the
- Usually short and involves guided meditations etc. you know it is time to finish when you feel good and when the meditation ends
Meditating to heal
- Focused on healing
- No rushing or questioning anything, just allowing the process to happen
- Permanent results due to healing from the inside out both psychically, mentally and spiritually
- The most effective technique to let go of past traumas, negative feelings, and stress
- Usually follows an unknown timeframe. You know it is finished when you feel calm acceptance and wholeness within
Meditating to heal starts to align the puzzle pieces back in place within you, creating a more harmonious state. Thus, you will learn to access your inner balance, especially during stressful situations, instead of searching for it elsewhere.
I hope this encourages you to look within. The next time you meditate when upset or feeling unbalanced, try to write down your feelings and thoughts before you meditate, then go into it with an open mind and heart without rushing, and afterwards write down your thoughts and feelings again. What emerges? Get in touch to share your story if you have interesting findings.